Temporal Pause
Posted by Kiats | Filed under Uncategorized
It’s been a damn long time since my last post.
Lots of stuff happpend and i’m currently busy with finals.
Will resume posting as soon as finals is done.
Peace out.
Following week
Posted by Kiats | Filed under happy, melancoly, shoppin
Damn that 3roses sparked some controversial thoughts. Dun get me wrong, getting pestered by 3 girls on sms regarding those sincere token was kinda fun, but it’s not good to send out the wrong idea.
Ppl might think that it’s damn desperate and weird to give ppl flowers out of the blue! lol. Damn lawrence for framing me. He’s gonna pay for it.
Andy&Melv’s house warming was fun. When i say “andy&melv”, did u think that they were some kind of gay couple? haha. Nah they are just 2 buddies renting a condo together. The place was great, brand new, with a view, huge pool, sauna room, mini gym, tennis court, squash court too! And a new carrefour is opening there soon too! Only for rm700/month, could be considered quite a bargain. lol.
Drank, talked, smoked, gambled. what else could a bunch of guys do? haha. It was great. Stayed up all night to reminisce about the good old days, gossiping bout old classmates, and talked about other dumb stuff.
It was fun, should do it again soon.
pre-sleep surprise.
Posted by Kiats | Filed under Uncategorized
one half went to genting, the other half was pissed.
I on the other hand, felt great. =)
It’s all good, i think it’s gonna be a good night. lol.
Thesis is done, lab is done, what’s next? we’ll see soon enuf. lol.
G’nite, oyasumi, selamat malam. Cheers.
atarashii no hajime? yumeino yamate?
Posted by Kiats | Filed under emo, happy, melancoly
it’s been a while. Lots of stuff have happened over the past 2 months. Ups and downs, plenty of them. However, i’m glad that things has finally become they way they are. To be honest, i’m not entirely sure that i’m happy, feelings are difficult to diserned since our mind likes to play tricks on us.
This time is the 3rd time, things are less awkwards, i’m feeeling more comfortable. Bought some stuff, gave some stuff, rcv none. As usual. But i’ve always said that the joy is in giving, tho receiving doesn’t feel bad either. lol.
3roses. A sincere message lost in translation. Turns out, things is going to unravel. no thanks to a friend, who’s playing tricks without knowing its consequences. Now, ppl might get the wrong idea, altho i dun mind ppl give me the nod, but it matters that where the nod comes from, who it comes from, and why did it come.
Once again, i’m in the same place, wondering if its a mistake. in fact, it feels much more like a mistake that the other times. can the cause justify the means? or can the means justify the cause?
It’s tiring my mind, i need to rest. And i’m glad that tonite i’m here. for better, or for worse.
feel-used-0-meter–> 45% full
Moral compass, do i have one?
Posted by Kiats | Filed under bored, whinning
Hmm……. been stuck with a sticky situation lately.
Trying to balance my desire with the conscience of doing the right thing, which leads me to wonder, do i even posess a moral compass? If i do, does it need a tuning?
Lately i’ve been indulging on unhealthy habits, thinking unhealthy thoughts, eating unhealthy stuff. I have no idea when it started off but i think it’s high time to do something bout it.
Firstly there is the thing that i did when i went clubbin. It’s not something in my day-2-day routine life, but once i enter the thumpa-thumpa dancefloors, my hand cant help but to reach for it, without hesitation, without remorse.
Moving on, there is the waking up too early in the morning and crashing too late at night. My sleeping cycle nothing but messed up. Waking up with teary eyes and go to class with a throbbin head aint really a walk in the park. Ppl noticed my reddish eyes and instead of admitting i have a problem, i told them i have a hangover.
Not forgetting the recent addiction to Karaoke-ing. I’ve been downloading MVs and memorizing new songs everyday just so that i could impress ppl during the next K-session. I’m sure my brain could be put to better use instead of memorising lyrics. lol.
Then there’s the midnight escapade that only 1 person knows about.
There are plenty more but i do not wish to go into it. For now, i’ve adopted a new exercise regime to keep the endorphines rolling. In the mean time, i still have tonnes of work to do… .sienz….
Dissociative identity disorder
Posted by Kiats | Filed under bored, emo, happy, melancoly, sienz, whinning
AKA Multiple-Personality disorder, i bet u’ve seen ppl with this disorder on TV all the time. However, i’m intrigue about meeting an actual one. How he/she can change from a person to another within minutes without realising it.
Come to think of it, i think i might have a tendency of having this disorder. Let’s see….
Firstly there’s Kiats, happy-go-lucky optismistic fun-loving & down to earth guy which sees the potential of every given brand new day as a day for something new. Enjoys meeting us with friends and talk and talk and talk. Sensitive to ppl’s needs&thoughts, gives ample of advice(upon demand of course). Sings karaoke too.
Then there’s Charles, the geek+dweep+otaku that likes to stay home and watches anime,series and movies on his computer. Sit in front of computer for hours with nothing but a bottle of water. Never leaves the room unless it’s nature’s call. Emo & overeats when feeling down. Sleeps in the morning, awake thru-out the night.
Lastly there’s Trey, hardcore, butch, no-nonsense, sarcastic, harsh. Tell ppl that they r bullshitting right to their face, drinks,smokes,gambles, and other “X” stuff. No expectation, no apologies, no regrets. Sees the world as a fucked up place awaiting imminent death and would love to be a total slut and live everyday/allday in a club.
Hmm…….. there’s plenty of personality traits that i posess, when do u think i’m which? Up to u to find out.
Matte na..
Posted by Kiats | Filed under emo
Long time didn’t update. well, can’t be helped since there aint much worth updating about.
Until last night that is.
Hmm………… did something out of the ordinary last night.Not my usual self, but i’m glad i did.
Somehow, it was a first for me, the long drive around town was fun too. Kepong, Ampang, Selayang, did some sighseeing. Town wasn’t jammed up, everything was serene and the breeze from the unwinded windows felt really great.
Unexpectedly opened up, details poured out, definitely not my usual self. Let out plenty of personal details which ordinarily wont happen under those circumstances. Somehow, it just fit, i guess.
Never have i felt this way, the intimacy, the closeness, the ickness of it. I’m still thinkin bout it. it’s still in my mind. Trying to not seems clingy, trying to lay off the phone. Damn……. i’m such a cliche, hating it, embracing it, deal with it.
Busy week ahead, wallet’s thinning, i’m so screwed up.
~ Ni Shi Ai Wo De ~
Posted by Kiats | Filed under Uncategorized
Love love LOVE this song. Ahh… it’s on endless repeat on my player now…Ahhh…. Ni Shi Ai Wo De你是愛我的
You love me 同样的一场日落 同样你还是没说 tong yang de yi chang ri luo tong yang ni huan shi mei shuo 只是抱紧我 时间一到就松手 zhi shi bao jin wo shi jian yi dao jiu song shou 你用一万个理由 都比沉默还温柔 ni yong yi mo ge li you du bi chen mo huan wen rou 为什麽爱我又不断退後 wei shi mo ai wo you bu duan tui hou 你害怕的是什麽 你想要的是什麽 ni hai pa de shi shi mo ni xiang yao de shi shi mo 站在你背後 我连呼吸都痛 zhan zai ni bei hou wo lian hu xi du tong 我要 相信你是爱我的 我要 相信你是勇敢的 wo yao xiang xin ni shi ai wo de wo yao xiang xin ni shi yong gan de 我烦 时间是最残酷的 我怎麽等 wo fan shi jian shi zui can ku de wo zen mo deng 我要 相信你是爱我的 不要 当我每次唱情歌 wo yao xiang xin ni shi ai wo de bu yao dang wo mei ci chang qing ge 眼里总有太多泪 不停拉扯 yan li zong you tai duo lei bu ting la che 我用一万个答案 解释我们的距离 wo yong yi mo ge da an jie shi wo men de ju chi 到最後发现我全都猜错 dao zui hou fa xian wo quan du cai cuo 你害怕的是什麽 你想要的是什麽 ni hai pa de shi shi mo ni xiang yao de shi shi mo 站在你背後 我连呼吸都痛 zhan zai ni bei hou wo lian hu xi du tong 我要 相信你是爱我的 我要 相信你是勇敢的 wo yao xiang xin ni shi ai wo de wo yao xiang xin ni shi yong gan de 我烦 时间是最残酷的 我怎麽等 wo fan shi jian shi zui can ku de wo zen mo deng 我要 相信你是爱我的 不要 当我每次唱情歌 wo yao xiang xin ni shi ai wo de bu yao dang wo mei ci chang qing ge 眼里总有太多泪 不停拉扯 yan li zong you tai duo lei bu ting la che 你怀里有太多问号 告诉我怎麽依靠 ni huai li you tai duo wen hao gao su wo zen mo yi kao Love Ya Ah-Mei.
Show me..
Posted by Kiats | Filed under emo, melancoly
I’ve gotta say what’s on my mind. There’s something about it that doesn’t seem right. Life keeps getting in the way. Whenever i try to make some plans, something will get in my way. I’ve got to move on and be who i wanna be. I just dont belong here, i might find a place in this world somehow, but at least for now, i’ve gotta be on my own.
But how do u expect me to live alone with just me, because my world revolves around many if not all people and it’s difficult for me to breathe without it. I’m too deep in this, that i cant see clearly.
I’ve got a call today, which i didn’t wanna hear, but i knew it would come. And i thought about all the bad luck and all the struggles i’ve been thru, how i lost me, and how you lost you. I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, but my will gets weak, and my thoughts seems scattered while i think it’s all about forgiveness, even if u dun remember anymore.
So, i’ve realised as i lay down to sleep, i haven’t written in weeks. So many things that i like to pen down, and so many thing i would like to believe. I try not to fall for make believe, but what is the reality?
Where do i i go now? what do i know? Life has to have a meaning, show me the light, show me the way, show me that you’re listening, show me that heaven is watching over me.
Irregularity/Abnormality
Posted by Kiats | Filed under bored, melancoly
Uneventful saturday, as i had anticipated. Gloomy clouds roam the sky, endless tears fell from above, icy wind induce a sense of remorse.
Woke up to hear the rainfall on the zink roof, there wasn’t any harmonic, just random, burst of droplets onto metal, cold&hard. Rcv text from Melv, went to breakfast with him since i’m already up. Chat about trivial stuff and hanged around briefly while he awaits his relatives.
Cold wind filled up the room, just the way i like it, couldn’t help it, dozed off unknowingly.
Slept thru mealtime, 1pm, went to a warehouse sale, walked under the rain, just for some chips&soda in the end. i’ve got nothing else better to do anyway.
Time ticked away slowly, KJ texted, i replied. She owes me a couple of favors by now. But who’s counting.
Charles crept up on me, took over,its been a while since my inner nerd surfaced. Manage to get an assignment done. Finally something positive. Guess it’ll suffice for now.
Nightfall, the lines joininng the sky and earth still lingers, without a ceasing sign. Pobi texted, met up for hot tea over some live music. Conversation was light, with a hint of comfort.
Realized that i’m an irregularity, so as Pobi,so as KJ. Typical sagi, imperfect, uncompromising values , borderline abnormal. Well, it’s sunday again, another week ends, another week awaits.
heheh.....