Kiats

Yesterday marks the last day of my uni life, now with all exams done, all courses done, everything is done.

Today marks the beginning of my life, tho know still a bum, but i’m hopeful that things will change pretty soon.

Sitting in O’Briens @ Prudential tower here got me thinking, while lookin at the staff buzzing around with their chores, one punching stuff into the register, the other cleaning the fridge, one more restocking fruits and veges. All the staff are malays, with 2 rather sissyinteresting ones too. Very well mannered and hard worker i presume, but due to their appearance, i think they more often than not, being judged more severely than me.

Let me get back to what i’m doing here in O’Briens, overestimated the time required to reach the interview venus which is for www.ININ.com . Previously i was very interested in this company but then they took 1 month time to ask me to go back in for another round of assessment. I’ve already gave up on that position but now i need to readjust my mental state for the interview.

The interview is on 12noon. It’s only 1030 now. got a long time to wait. most prolly i’ll go up there @11 and see whether i could get interviewed earlier. This job is good, well payed, regular hours, plenty of opportunity to learn. However, there’s a lil doubt at the corner of my mind which makes me nervous.

It’s almost time, guess i’ll make my exit now, going back melaka afterwards.

home i’m coming.

Been a long time since i’ve penned down anything in here. Lotsa stuff been taking place in my life for the past few month, which results in me having no time or the heart to blog bout what’s going on.

There were many times when i have lotsa of thoughts which i wanted to share with the world, but never gotten around to typing it out, there’s just some stuff happening which would distract me and the previous thought would flee my consciousness.

Now i’ve finally slowed down, after finishing university, after finishing all the traveling, after finishing the short course, the will to blog seems to be coming back. And i’m grateful, for this platform has been good to me, giving me a space to vent, to share, to wept, to laugh and also to grow, in much more ways one could possible think of.

And so, i think a facelift is in order for a new beginning of my life as an adult, not a student anymore, not a child. Now i am accountable for myself, which is teriffying and exciting at the same time. For once in my life, i will call the shots, not my parents, not my lecturers, me, Trey, is a man, a man with outstanding qualities if i may add. (lol kembang giler )

Looking thru some pics on FB made me recall the times i’ve had in school,highschool and university, will blog bout it later.

for now, i’m lovin it, my life that is, my paradiso.

Tomolo will be having my final paper. Feeling has been……. complicated, slightly remorseful but kinda excited as well.

4 years is a long time to be committed in doing something, and just as they say, it went by in a blink. Didn’t really thought about studying what i studied, just got thrown into it and went on with it. Day by day, weeks gone by, semesters ended, and now i’m graduating. Not really with flying colours but not to shabby either.

Sometimes i look back, how self assertive i was, even tho i was clueless at that time, and now i could see, what i couldnt before.

The outlook so far aint as fine as i wanted it to be, but at the very least i could see myself being independant of anyone in the near future. Finally i can be on my own, supporting and earing my way in the world.

Lately been feeling alot of gratitute, to different ppl, some good, some bad, some really really bad, some damn good. i guess towards the end, everything seems trivial and it’s time to let go, and have a clean slate at the other end of the tunnel.

wo men dou mei chuo
Zhi shi bu shi he
Wo yao de
Wo sien zai chai dong de
Kuai le shi wo de
Bu shi ni gei de
Ji mo yao ji zi fu zhe

Wo men dou mei chuo
Zhi shi bu shi he
Qing ai de
Wo dang shi bu dong de
Shuen zhe shi wo de
Bu shi ni gei de
Ming tian zi ji fu zhe

いつまでもれだんぐいきたい。

でもチャンスがじゃなかった。

4年前には チャンス逃された。

それことは再度繰り返さない。

私は最終的にここにいる。

i’m behind on my first draft, suppose to hand in later today, but i’m nowhere near finishing it.

i’m so screwed. i really am.

Someone pls knock some sense into me, i have no motivation to complete this.

i’m so screwed.

Trey was out of commission today. Charles here today. Awoken early in the morning, crazy food, txted a bunch of ppl hoping for someone who’s up that early who could go out for dimsum with me, but to no avail.

Went back to sleep, woke up around noon. Grab lunch and txted a few others, no replies as well. Wonder why ppl dont reply txts anymore. Grabbed lunch and it’s almost 3pm.

Being Charles, specs are inevitable, spotting the nerd look with center parting hair. I’ve missed it. Went off to StarBucks@Jaya1, from 3pm till now, almost 930.

Did pretty much nothing but watching series, reading manga, watchin anime, Fb-ing and also chattin on MSN the whole ady. Manage to squeeze in some thesis work. But felt bored later.

Luckily Charles took over today, no emoing, overall a pleasant sunday. Have a long chat with a friends, kinda overshared, but luckily nothing bad came out of it.

Signing off,
Charles.

By Julia Duncan. Jazzy-lounge type of singer. nice a relaxing tune. Was listening to this while surfin net in StarBucks@Jaya1.

Things are kinda slow today, times passes by slowly, the heat is unbearable, and there isn’t much to do. Actually there is, but i just couldn’t bring myself to get things done. Been puttin off thesis report for some time now. Deadline is approaching and i’m stressed becoz i’m not stressed at all.

Contemplated headin back to MLK for the weekend but since i’ll be going back next week for Cheng Meng, decided to stay in KL. Kinda regret that decision now. Mom called last night saying that ChengMeng thingy moved to thursday, and i dun have to go back next weekend at all.

Circumstances have changed lately, unknowingly, i’ve been a little different. can say that i’m happy but not contented. I’m not sure what kind of stuff i’m getting myself into, since we have yet to define what it actually is. I could be getting myself into a hole, i might end up being too deep before realising i’m in deep shit.

On the other hand, graduation looms, another chapter awaits, hope it’ll all be alright.

Suddenly today i had a sudden outburst. I guess words just came out wrong.
haven’t been able to properly meet for the past few days, since there were other engagement going on.

I didn’t mind that others has social obligations, as i have my own too, but mayb due to the fact that i was entirely free for the past 2 days, i have too much time on my hand. Thoughts kinda stray and emotions get clouded.

Dint actually feel emo, but today suddenly words came out. which i did not intend it to be. Feel embarassed afterwards, as i was being told that i dun have to compromise my time, i did not have to do what i did, which was really true. I was just being dumb.

I guess tho i am mature mentally, i may not be entirely mature emotionally yet. This sentence is so familiar. I’ve used it to describe others, and yet it applies to me as well.

Haiz… another day of being dumb, another day ahead to try to be better.

Went for a stroll at MidV last night. Had tea with Juls&Peggy at 5pm. And then they went to watch “Love Matters” while i went to do some shoppin.

Dropped by Studio R, gotten a b ag. Went around looking for a gigantic hello kitty for my niece but ther din manage to get any. After that went to carrefour to get milk but stopped by Speedy and browse thru some cds and dvds. Found a DVD on “Asia the Invinsible” and also a special edition on “Last Friends”, which i have been dying to watch but couldn’t find any sources online.

Went home and watch both dvds till 2am. I really really like Last Friends. It’s a japanese drama about 5ppl livin in a house, all with their own trauma and issues, helping each other to love again. This drama features domestic violence, sexual identity confusion, friendship-love boundries, sexually abused children and others.

It’s title song is called, “Prisoner Of Love” by Utada Hikaru, it’s damn nice. I’m a prisoner of love, just a prisoner of love.