1 hour of silence
Posted by Kiats | Filed under Uncategorized
took a sudden decision to go back to hometown this weekend. There aint much to do in campus yet since it’s just the first week. Jim said Cyrus is back in Melaka so we should go back to meet him, coz it’s been 2 months since we last went out for drinks. And so, i hop onto Jim’s car and went back to Melaka.
Quite an eventful weekend, dinner+movie with the PingPong gang. ate at Simple Fish, sumthin similiar to Manhattan Fish Market but with cheaper price tag. Watched “Bedtime Stories”, more of a children movie but entertaining nonetheless.
The next day, Cyrus was suppose to car pool with me, Renee & Amber, but he overslept so i drove instead. Went for lunch at Purple Elephant Restaurant(thai), food was superbly spicy. And then went over to DreamBox for 4hours of karaoke session.
Nightime, an old classmate’s sister is getting married and there was a banquet. Drew, sim, kenneth, theodore and the others were invited to attend. I’m not coz i’m not really close to the person. We were suppose to meet up for drink afterwards but the banquet ran late and the others were hold up.
So there i was, sittin in the mamak, alone for more than 1 hour. Surprisingly i wasn’t pissed. While i was in the midst of waiting, i saw a few ppl come and go, a malay couple whom the guy ate while the girl sit there and watch, a chinese couple with a kid whom the wife paid for the meal instead of the husband, an old couple with their daughter whom the mom was too busy talking on the phone throughout the whole time they were there. I left after finishin my roti telur.
Through these few observation, we can see that there are all sorts of ppl out there. However dysfunctional any relationship is, there is a place for it in the world. So dun be hasty to give up on something just becoz u think it’s not conventional, or it’s not appropriate, coz for all we know, it’s just part of the norm.
帶我走
Posted by Kiats | Filed under Uncategorized
a song by Rainie Yang. Very nice, totally my taste. Emo till the max. hahaha.
Quite a few ppl hav commented on my recent posts, saying that it’s too emo for the general public and they cant stand it. Some even thought that i need some profesional help. I admit that the past week has been very emo for me. When i’m idling, i tend to think bout all kinds of stuff, which causes me to have a momentary life crisis. However, i think it’s a good thing. It pushes me to examine my life, what it’s lacking and what’s wrong with it. This way, i could realise what’s wrong and then work towards a better life.
Some ppl can go thru life without knowing what’s wrong with their own, becoz they are always distracted by something, may it be work, family, spouse, children, money, girls, sickness, etc. Then one day, when they are 35, the look back, and finally see how f-up their life is, and then that’s when things spiral out of control and everything else became collateral damage.
I dun wanna be a guy who has an affair, who abandons his children, who go out and buy a sport car he can’t afford, who join a rock band at the age of 35, all becoz of a stupid mid-life crisis.
lol. No no man. that aint gonna be me. So, it’s important to examine your life once in a while, or you’ll be in deep shit when it’s too late to do anything bout it.
On a more cheerful note, 30mins to Christmas. I can hear the bells jingle. haha.
Happy holidays everyone. Merry christmas and happy new year!
Clarity
Posted by Kiats | Filed under un-emo
Woken up today by a text from Lawrence. Overslept & fogotten that a bunch of us r suppose to meet up to do some bbq shoppin for tonite. Dun feel like gettin outta bed, so decided to 747 them.
Today i woke up with unexpected clarity. The horizon seems to be clear of obstruction, free from diversion. My head has cleared up. Once again, equilibrium is achieved.
The balance of the mind is very important. It governs our actions and it could make us believe something that’s not there in the first place. As i recall the things i felt last nite, now i feel how amateurish it all was. I’m better than this. I’ll rise above it, and today’s another brand new day.
I feel relieved. It’s true what they say, everything will look differently in the morning.
I’m hopeful once again.
…Sober…
Posted by Kiats | Filed under emo
Went out for drinks with Lawrence,Mark & Drew. Mamak, then shoot some pool and then headed back home. On the way sending Drew back home, he said something to me, that i was somewhere in between denial and acceptance.
i know exactly where i stand, right in the spot called Rage. Rage caused by a wound. A wound so deep & minuscule that no one can see, but it’s pain is throbbing and excruciatingly unbearable. the wound grows deeper as time unforgivably move on.
It’s been 2 days since i last rcv a text from that person. The quiet scares me as it screams the truth. just when i thought that i could let it go and not be bothered by that, the feeling crept up behind me and took me by surprise. i gave in & sent out a text, a nonchalant text which masked how i truly feel, just to be replied with “i had fun last night”.
It’s eating me alive. Dunno how long i can take it anymore, I’m not someone who’s jaded enuf for this. At least not yet. This is not good for me, not for my mind, and not for my soul.
Give me strength, to change what i can, to accept what i cant change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
A new chapter
Posted by Kiats | Filed under bored, emo, whinning
LIfe’s short, we all know it. Therefore, all the things we did/do/doing, are just to distract us from the fact that we can’t escape the one thing at the end of life.
Being someone who has grown, well maybe just a little since my birthday, i can say that, my life is definitely gonna be tougher than before.
From here on now, everything would be up to me, on my palm to rest or to destroy. The feeling of having control over my own fate is exhilarating and scary.
Chat with Mikey last night, the things that he told me really caught me off guard. Things which were revealed to me were painful to hear, just like most truth of the world. Truths are cruel and unforgiving, while lies are ignorance in bliss. All these made me see “J” in a different light, & my feelings grew weaker as moments passed. Now i know that, only a masochist can love such a narcissist….
Told a friend about it, and his reply while brief, was surprisingly insightful.
Let it go, you’ve known the ending right at the beginning.
Oh well, nuf of those shitty stuff. Due to the long pause, i guess i’ve lost my readers.
“ma ii yo” just as Akane said, it’s all good.
..
Posted by Kiats | Filed under emo
Last nite was feelin down, and before going to bed, i sent a req for my horoscope reading, it says
It’s depressing to wait for things to change, but have patience that if all good things must come to an end, so does the bad things.
After reading that, i felt…..
I’m not happy anymore.
祝我生日快乐
Posted by Kiats | Filed under Uncategorized
1am. 1 hour passed my birthday. My 23rd birthday.
Drove up to KL today, had lunch @ Tony Roma’s with the girls, Jace, Juls, Hy, Kuan, Fang & Peggy. It was nice and we took a stroll around the curve to burn off the calories. They had a cake for me, choc banana. & there was a complimentary dessert from Tony Roma too, ChocChip Cookie+Ice Cream. Food was great, friends were great. It was fun.
Evening comes, drop by Brussels Beer Cafe for a drink with some of the girls while visiting CM who’s working there. Pui joined us. It was ladies night, free drinks on the house for the ladies. Ordered a couple pint of Stella Artois & Hoegaarden. The complementary drinks were Pink Lady & White Russian. Both were quite good tho the latter dun hav enuf alcohol in it.
Left by 9pm and went to dinner @ Little Little Genting @ Tmn Saga, Cheras. The view was great and the food was so so. A lil overpriced and a lil undersized. The company was all that matters.
Alrite, after the details account of what happen today, let’s review my feelings of being 23.
No sense of achievement, No regrets, nothing to complain about.Guess it’s all good.
Today was a good day, wish everyday could be like today. G’nite.
Temporal Pause
Posted by Kiats | Filed under Uncategorized
It’s been a damn long time since my last post.
Lots of stuff happpend and i’m currently busy with finals.
Will resume posting as soon as finals is done.
Peace out.
Following week
Posted by Kiats | Filed under happy, melancoly, shoppin
Damn that 3roses sparked some controversial thoughts. Dun get me wrong, getting pestered by 3 girls on sms regarding those sincere token was kinda fun, but it’s not good to send out the wrong idea.
Ppl might think that it’s damn desperate and weird to give ppl flowers out of the blue! lol. Damn lawrence for framing me. He’s gonna pay for it.
Andy&Melv’s house warming was fun. When i say “andy&melv”, did u think that they were some kind of gay couple? haha. Nah they are just 2 buddies renting a condo together. The place was great, brand new, with a view, huge pool, sauna room, mini gym, tennis court, squash court too! And a new carrefour is opening there soon too! Only for rm700/month, could be considered quite a bargain. lol.
Drank, talked, smoked, gambled. what else could a bunch of guys do? haha. It was great. Stayed up all night to reminisce about the good old days, gossiping bout old classmates, and talked about other dumb stuff.
It was fun, should do it again soon.
pre-sleep surprise.
Posted by Kiats | Filed under Uncategorized
one half went to genting, the other half was pissed.
I on the other hand, felt great. =)
It’s all good, i think it’s gonna be a good night. lol.
Thesis is done, lab is done, what’s next? we’ll see soon enuf. lol.
G’nite, oyasumi, selamat malam. Cheers.
